December 2, 2008

"I think the obvious question everyone has is who takes loaded weapons into a Toys "R" Us?"

Do you know when I first heard Chri$tma$ music while I was out this year? It was two days before Halloween. too early. Normally, I do a pretty decent job of not putting myself around it too much, but this year it appears harder to escape from. Perhaps its omnipresence is due to the economy, which is fairly shitty from what I can discern. They certainly want each and every citizen to "deck the halls" with gizmos and cheap Chinese garbage in 2008... more than ever, it seems.

If I'm not hearing music, I'm hearing news... mostly about how "Black Friday" is going to (not) save us from financial ruin. Which is awesome. Now this is pure speculation on my part, but maybe some of the pressure put on consumers to stave off old man recession is making them a little tense. Sure, there is always some holiday violence, it's the American way. But a homicide? In a toy store? Two homicides! And a trampling death... People are serious this year, I guess.

If this time of year is getting you down in the dumps, I have a musical salve for your embittered soul. Almost every track here is an ass-shaker in one way or another, and all of them are freshly ripped from vinyl. It's the International Jazz Funk Prog Monster, gone on some kind of ennui mud-hole stomping tour. There isn't a carol in sight, so you may grab this without fear of jingling bells, eight tiny reindeer, or Santa.

[The Golden Bullet]

The Kazbek Orchestra - Ukrainian Folk Medley
Michael Liggins - Loaded to the Gills
James Brown - Think ( Live at the Apollo)
Can - I'm So Green
Coro A. Toscanini di Torino - Noi Vo Gliamo L'Uguaganza
Soul Diggers - Soul Dig Part 1
The 7 Sounds - The Sound of Soul
Green Milk from Planet Orange - Demagog
Harry Breuer & his Quartet - Minute Merengue
Manitas de Plata - Jova
Touré Kunda - Ne Nam' #1
Roosevelt Mathews with Billy Ball & the Upsetters - Tighten Up Tighter
Thee Headcoats - No Such Number
Kashmere Stage Band - Scorpio
Art Ensemble of Chicago - Odwalla/Theme (Live)
Erroll Garner - Bonnie Boy
Banda Tarapaca - Ay! Sargento y Cancion a Los Bonias Guindas
Pretty Boy - Bip Bop Bip
Rex Garvin and the Mighty Cravers - Emulsified
Faust - Du Weißt Schon
Funkadelic - Super Stupid


Joolie said...

I take loaded weapons into Toys "R" Us, okay? There. I said it.

Mr. Krotpong said...

Well,so do I. So does everyone I know. I guess that's it. All Americans, large and small, are armed 95% of the time. Be careful, people!